The Story of Us: The first month.

August 28, 2009

The first date went well. Really well. I knew there was something different about Chris, something I hadn't seen in the countless dates and boys before.

I saw him that Wednesday when he joined me and some co-workers at a local sports bar to watch the College Baseball World Series. I saw him that Friday night when he joined me and some friends who were out. I saw him Saturday when we went to a friend's pool party. I saw him several times the following week whether we hung out or met up with friends. I saw him on that next Thursday night for poker with friends. I spent all day on that Friday with him as I had the day off of work. I spent all day Saturday with him hopping pools. And then on Sunday, I was panicking.

I had convinced myself that Chris and I were hanging out way too much. Forget the fact that I enjoyed his company or that we had a good time when we were together. We were hanging out more often than we should.

I am a scheduler. A planner. A control freak. Everything has to be in order and in place and I can't stand not sticking to a schedule or not knowing what's happening next. After three days straight of hanging out with  Chris, I decided that I was going to take a break on Sunday.

I am also the kind of person who thrives off of alone time. Some people get their energy from people; I recharge my batteries with peace, quiet and solitude. I've been this way for as long as I can remember and I'm pretty sure it's not changing. When I get overwhelmed with my busy schedule or the full social calendar, I need to recharge my batteries. Sunday was dedicated to recharging.

The afternoon, his texts kept coming and I kept responding as short as possible. He was invading my time and plans to do nothing. At about seven o'clock that evening, he sent me a text that just wasn't fair. "Do you want a blizzard from Dairy Queen?"

Like I said, not fair. I do not have the willpower or the means to say no to anything that includes sugar, ice cream or chocolate. I blame it on my mother. I texted back, "Sure."

He asked, "What kind?" and I said, "Snickers is fine."

He said he would be over shortly. And he was. There was a knock on my door and I let him in, ice cream in hand. We sat on the couch enjoying our blizzards and whatever random television show was on at the moment. This went on for about an hour when I heard the comment I had fully been expecting to hear.

"I have a question for you," he said.

I listened.

"Have we been hanging out too much lately?"

I said yes. Before I could even form the word in my mind, I said yes. He had figured it out and it was a relief.

I was starting to figure out that  Chris  was a communicator. I was not. He wanted to talk about things, I wanted to keep them in and bury them. He wanted to know how I felt, I wanted him to just figure it out on his own somehow. He was starting to show me how to open up.

And I opened up. I explained my need for alone time. I explained my need to have a break every now and then. I explained that I didn't want to hang out every day just yet. And  Chris  sat there and listened and understood as best as he could. He left that night and I felt like maybe there really was something different about him.

The next day, Monday, I was driving home from Target when my mom called. I reiterated to her the conversation that  Chris  and I had had the night before and she asked if I really liked him. I said of course I like him and she said that if I was truly crazy about Chris that I would want to hang out with him. I told her that we had hung out Saturday and Sunday and the earliest we need to hang out is Wednesday. (Which made no sense. At all.)

I hung up the phone and texted Chris. I wanted to hang out. Less than 24 hours from seeing him, I wanted to see him again. I didn't know why but I wanted to be with him, around him, near him and talk to him. So I did. And that night changed everything.

That night was the night I realized I was falling. That was the night I realized that walls were coming down that I didn't know I had built so high. That was the night I realized that it was okay to care about someone this much and to let them care about you even more than you could imagine.

That was the night before I called my best friend Brittany to ask how soon was too soon to know if I had found The One.

The first month was full of walls coming down and doors staying unlocked. We hung out when we wanted to hang out. I learned to live in the twenty-four hours in front of me rather than the twenty four days, months or years ahead. I decided that if within those twenty four hours I wanted to see Chris, then I, in fact, would see Chris. Before I knew it, it was every day and over the next couple months I would realize how freeing this all was.

A sweet, sweet freedom.
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  1. A guy who brings chocolate and communicates? Priceless.

  2. This is beautiful! And it sorta makes me wanna cry a little.


    P.S. I'm slowly making my way through your blog and lovin' it! :)


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