Safe place.

July 22, 2010

Growing up, my parents made a safe place for us. Our home was our safe place.

In this safe place, we could get mad, get sad, and get angry. We could cry and feel and just plain dislike each other. We could slam doors and yell and stomp up and down stairs.

Basically, we were safe to let it all out. I'm not saying it was encouraged to slam doors or just be rude. But we weren't kicked out or unloved for doing so.

My mom made sure that our home was always that way. There aren't many places in this world where you can truly say how you feel or let your emotions run raw. Home should be one of them. It kept us open and honest with each other.

Chris and I are learning to make our home a safe place. While much love goes on in our home, it's also a place where it's okay to be mad, sad or angry. A place where it's okay to cry and feel and plain dislike each other sometimes. And yes, I've slammed a few doors and have stomped up and down the stairs a few times. I'm not saying those are my proudest moments.

But the best part about a safe place is that it's just that. Safe. And it allows us to open and up and just be honest without being afraid of what the other person might do.

The people in the safe place love unconditionally. They are committed to each other no matter how many doors may slam or how many mean words are yelled. Whether it's a family or a couple, everyone needs a safe place to come home to.

I know that if Chris and I get into it, it's not the end of us or our marriage. It's nowhere near that, actually. It's just a matter of us being honest and real and turning our home into a safe place for us to collapse into.

And everyone needs that.
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  1. I just watched Pink on Oprah. She and her husband separated after 6 years. When Oprah asked her why, she said, "I thought I was pretty much perfect."

    Her dad told her to think of 20 qualities she wanted in a mate...and to be sure she had all those qualities in herself.

    She realized she needed to do some "fixing" and now she and her husband are back together.

    Very thought provoking.


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