March 07, 2011

I have been yearning for community ever since I moved to this dry, desert state three and a half years ago. Which, as a side note, seems impossible that it's already been that long. It seems like just yesterday I was in my college rental house running out of my room yelling to any of the three roommates that were there that I had just accepted a position in Arizona. Arizona? I was ready and willing to try something new on for size.

I soon found community in the other fourteen interns that had also packed up and moved to Arizona. And then I found it in a few friends that stuck around after the internship was over. And then I found it in a group of girlfriends when I joined a Bible Study.

And then I went and got married.

One of the hardest transitions I have found in this new marriage is going from being single and on my own with single friends and single plans, to being with someone all the time as a couple. For some reason, it's been tricky.

It seems as though as soon as I got married, my single friends stopped calling as often or checking in on my plans. Maybe they assumed I had permanent plans since I was indefinitely with someone. Maybe they assumed I didn't really want to hang out with them anymore. I could list a lot of maybes. But the truth is, I missed them. I missed them bad.

One night I broke down to Chris, who, by the way, so lovingly and patiently manages my meltdowns that seemingly come out of nowhere sometimes. I broke down because I felt like I wasn't getting called as much or invited out as much or included as much. I felt lonely and left behind. And while I had Chris, it just wasn't the same.

In January, we both prayed for community. We prayed for "couple" friends who were in our same time of transition. We prayed for friends we could spend time with together that were good for us. And we got it.

I have been attending a Bible Study on Wednesday nights for two and a half years now. I asked Chris to start coming with me since the guys that come go off and do their own mini-study. He started coming and just like that our nights have blossomed into time with friends. Couple friends. Single friends. Christian friends. Good friends.

We spend our Wednesday nights with friends.

We spend our Thursday nights with friends (and wine and cheese).

We spend our Sunday mornings with friends who come to church with us.

And we leave each and every time looking at each other and saying, "I had a really, really good time with them."

Slowly but surely, my lonely heart is becoming full.
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  1. Beautiful post. We've had that same struggle too, finding good Christian couples who "get" us. I'm so glad you're finding your people!

  2. wow, that's so encouraging! i'm so happy to hear your prayers for community being answered with a yes!

    my husband and i are still praying for that :)

  3. Making new friends in new places is SO tough in the beginning but also awesome when you know you've "nailed" it. The hubs and I also have those moments when we're leaving a dinner or something and look at each other with smiles that say "We had a really, really, good time"


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