Learning grace through receiving while failing.
Because I fail, daily. My actions don't deserve, daily, but I receive, daily. Whether from my husband or God or even my dog, I receive grace when there hasn't been much grace given on my end.
And sometimes that makes me mad.
I get mad at myself for not giving out enough grace but stealing it for myself when I need it most. I get mad for not getting it and continuing to just do and say ungraceful things to others. I get mad because that's not who I am, right? I get mad that I have to fail to learn and that the failing hurts really, really bad.
As I was writing this, I was reminded of the verse in the second chapter of Corinthians where God speaks of His grace being sufficient. While digging a little deeper, I read the context of the verse in The Message translation.
...I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations... At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then He told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
My handicaps? Anxiety, worry, control, fear of failure, fear of not being heard, fear of fill-in-the-blank.
But I know that when these handicaps cause me to fail in this world, I am picked up by His grace and I receive and learn and am sent off to take another step.
Sometimes I don't get it. Sometimes my mind and head and thoughts take over. But I am learning through receiving, which is the only way, really.
one word comes to mind - Amen!
ReplyDeleteI get mad at myself for not giving out enough grace but stealing it for myself when I need it most.
ReplyDeleteIf you deserved it, it wouldn't be grace! Your post is beautiful.
I had to reread your six word memoir a few times, because each word has so much meaning and strung together they all mean so much more. I love it that you found a six word memoir that can relate to our daily moments as well as the big and small moments of our past!
ReplyDeleteYou have a way with words.
ReplyDelete6 words to describe your writing!
beautiful wisdom, thank you for expounding on your six words!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from MKat -- great "memoir" and learning experience.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the scorecard just doesn't add up.
Whenever I feel like I'm being given more than I give out, I just say Thank You -- over and over again.
Enough grace is such an intangible goal and so hard to know when you've gotten there. I struggle with this concept daily! At this very minute in fact as my oldest sone begs for junk food and I want is a nap! Hang in there. I cheated too! :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!
ReplyDelete