Three and four weeks.

July 12, 2012

Dear Baby,

I found out about you on the Fourth of July. You can imagine the fireworks going off in my head along with the ones lighting up the night sky. I had a feeling about you; in fact, I knew about you a couple weeks prior. I just knew. And after a couple of days feeling nauseous and odd, I decided to take a test before we flew off to Texas for the weekend.

The test was faint, but positive nonetheless. I called your dad in and he smiled right away. I wasn't sure what his reaction would be because we hadn't quite planned for this to happen. But you know what? The best surprises are those left unplanned. Actually, he high-fived me. You are going to have a fun dad.

I spent the next several days with you as our little secret and decided to take another test on that Saturday. It was positive within three seconds. You were all of a sudden so much more real. I had my last cup of coffee that morning.

According to one of the five iPhone apps I've downloaded, I am four weeks and three days along as I am writing this, which means I am in my fifth week. (The timing is confusing me already.) You have left me with an extremely sore chest, waves of nausea throughout the day, exhaustion that has hit me like a tidal wave sending me to bed by 9:30 each evening and a mood that is making your dad be mightily patient. It's fun to have you as our secret together; you are something we know along with only a handful of others: my parents, my doctor, and the guy at Barnes & Noble who undoubtedly knows after we bought three pregnancy books the other night. It's been fun to keep you to ourselves until the timing is right to let the rest of the world know about you.

You have already made the relationship between me and your dad lighter and more intimate as we realize what the next nine months will bring us. He is so excited about you. I haven't told him yet that his drum set will need to be stocked away to make room for you, but I have a feeling he will take that one well. (It's not like he has a choice, anyway.) One day, we'll pull it back out and you can play on it, too.

I love you and I am looking forward to helping you grow.

Your Mama

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