Seven weeks.

August 02, 2012

Dear Baby,

The nausea hit hard last week and wasn't so much off and on like it had the week before. It was on. It is ever-present, always there, always fighting me when I just want to eat what I want to eat. But I don't know what I want to eat because nothing sounds good. In fact, I've eaten the same exact meal at two different restaurants for two lunches in a row - a half chicken salad sandwich and bowl of potato cream cheese soup. I've learned that if something sounds good, I better just eat it right then and right there, because I don't when that clarity will come again.

Your dad has been patient through all of this, thank goodness. The other night we had a date night planned and all I wanted was a grilled cheese. We picked our place based on which grilled cheese sounded the best and he just went with it, never saying, "Can't we just make a grilled cheese at home?" Even though I was saying, "Why can't I just eat a grilled cheese from home?" My pregnant brain has little reasoning lately. Three days later, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with grilled cheese - or cheese - whatsoever. I even made a big batch of buttered noodles for dinner and wasn't sure if I'd make it past boiling the water.

Thankfully, the Olympics have been taking up our evenings so I have an excuse to curl up on the couch with a pillow, a blanket and your dad and not get up for hours. Literally.

I love looking through my different apps to see what size you are and hold up the measurement with my fingers. I had blueberries in a fruit salad the other day and I held one up to your dad and said, "This is the size of the baby!" It was so very small and it such a miraculous thought to realize how something so small is such a grand creation.

I keep catching myself thinking ahead through the year and remembering you will be a part of us, a big part of us. I imagine our trip to California in October for a wedding, wondering what I will wear with a bump. I look forward to our visit back to California for Thanksgiving, taking family photos with you in them, in me. I am excited for Christmas - the first time I get to go to my home for Christmas in five years - and how very exciting it will be at six months along.

I am looking forward to next week at eight weeks along. It seems like a milestone - two months in.

Until then, we're praying for you and loving you.

Love you,
Your Mama

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