We watched the Oscars last Sunday night. We had said earlier that day that neither of us were really interested in watching it, but once we turned it on, the host was entertaining, the presenters were funny, and we got sucked in.
When Ben Affleck accepted his award at the end of the show, he gave out typical thank you's, but his remarks to his wife were my favorite:
"I want to thank you for working on our marriage for ten Christmases. It’s good. It is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and there’s no one I’d rather work with."
I love the truth behind his statement and how real he was on a big stage in a fancy tuxedo talking to a room full of celebrities. It goes to show that marriage isn't always bliss, even if you have a lot of money and live in a fancy house like them.
Marriage is work. Sometimes Chris and I go through five-day stretches where things are really, really good. Sometimes those stretches only last five hours and it may take a little more work several times in a twenty-four hour period. But the point is, it's work.
In fact, relationships in general take work. I can't expect to remain good friends with someone if we never talk or invest in one another, so how I can expect the same out of my marriage which is the most important relationship I am in outside of the one I have with God? We have to talk, invest, and nurture each part of it, just like with God, family and friendships. Chris and I have worked at it through two moves, a dog, a whole lot of ups and downs, and a baby that will come just days before we celebrate three years or marriage.
Some days this work has meant sitting on the couch next to each other saying nothing and realizing we just needed the others' presence because it's been a long week and our brains are fried.
Some days it has meant we needed to turn the television off, face each other, and talk through the hard issues like finances and where we're going to live and work decisions.
Some days have sent us out of the house together to have a change of scenery and leave the chores and mundane behind.
Some days have sent us out of the house separately to allow us space to breathe and think and come back in a better frame of mind, anxious to see one another again.
Each week is different. Each day is different. Sometimes, each hour is different.
But it's the best kind of work, and there's no one I'd rather work with.