Our new normal.

April 01, 2013


We are doing well over here with an almost two-and-a-half-week-old. The first two weeks were just as everyone said they would be: hard. A good, heart-stretching hard that tested us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually - and I think we've come out ahead.

Chris and I have found our new normal as we dance around one another between feedings, diaper changes, naps and chores. It's a new road in our relationship, this parenting gig. We're seeing sides of the other person we've never seen before and learning how to relate on a level that is foreign to both of us.

But even in this foreign time, those moments of I-remember-why-I'm-with-you are scattered throughout the days.

Like when we were leaving the pediatrician's office on the third day home and he asked me what I wanted for lunch. Not feeling well, I started tearing up. "I can't answer that," I said. "I'll drive then," he said. And he drove down the road calling out different restaurants until something sounded appetizing.

Or when I had a breakdown at 3 a.m. last Saturday night because I couldn't keep up with Liam's demand and I sat at the end of the bed in a pile of tears not knowing what to do because shouldn't I be able to feed my own kid? "Walgreens is open," he said as he climbed out of bed, put on a jacket and shoes, and loaded the baby in the car. I followed him in to the aisle with formula.

And when he knelt down in front of me one morning when we were fourteen days in and said, "I'm going in to work for a bit. And then when I get home, you're getting out of the house." And he held me to it as I showered, put real clothes on, drove to Starbucks half a mile away, and sat at a table for an hour and a half as I wrote out Liam's birth story, feeling that old sense of normal for the first time in two weeks. I just needed to write. I came home feeling like myself again.

It's becoming hard to remember what our normal used to be but I'm starting to like what it's becoming.

At the end of the day, no matter how many frustrated words we've exchanged or mistakes we've made, it's just the two of us and a sleeping baby. We turn on an episode of Parenthood, grab a couple of cookies for a late night treat and melt into the couch as the day comes to a calming stop. Some nights it's the first time we've sat close enough to one another to hold hands and we soak in the moment as our old normal creeps into the new normal. Some nights find us locked in a long hug, remembering where we started and what it all comes back to...

...us.

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10 comments:

  1. Aw, this is such a sweet post and I adore that photo.

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  2. This is a beautiful post, Jordy! I remember all of those feelings. It's a wonderful/overwhelming time, but the bond between a husband and wife gets even stronger during these days. I've never loved my husband as much as I have since he became a dad. I'm praising God right now that we BOTH have wonderful, supportive husbands who don't just leave the parenting business up to us!

    You're doing great, Momma!

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  3. wonderful post! i worry what our lives will look like and our relationship once our baby comes and it's always good to hear the truth about the emotions and adjustments but about the joy and new family too! forlaurenandlauren.blogspot.com

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  4. I have tears in my eyes from this post. I am 4.5 months in, so those longs first days and nights home with a newborn are very fresh in my mind. Having a supportive partner is so important. beautifully written.

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  5. Those newborn days are unlike any other! Such a roller coaster of emotions --one minute I wanted everything to slow down, I felt like my baby was growing too fast and I wanted to have more time to soak it all in (and take more photos!). Then, the next minute I found myself longing for this baby to be bigger, so I could have just a little more freedom to do some of the things I used to do... It sounds like you and Chris are handling these precious (albeit crazy!) first days with Liam in just the best, most wonderful way :-) Wish we were closer -- we miss you guys! Can't wait to meet our littlest nephew in person sometime soon. Give him a little kiss on the forehead from us!

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  6. I think everyone has that same 3am breakdown (and if they deny it, I swear they are lying). My babies had both breastmilk and formula because I couldn't seem to keep up with their demand - it worked out very well for us so don't be too hard on yourself! I'm glad Chris was willing to take that step with you. Praying for you both during this adjustment into parenting.

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  7. Thanks, Jess! We are using formula now. The kid doesn't stop eating!

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  8. I'm finally making my way through two weeks of google reader stacked up... this post... I'm in tears. Perhaps it's the fear of what's coming and how everyone seems to say it's just so hard and we won't treat each other well and that's just part of the journey. But this gives me hope. Thank you, friend.

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  9. l love this post - the first few weeks really do push you to whole new limits but these give new strength.

    Thanks so much for linking up at The Friday Baby Shower, Alice x

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